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Les Poissons (Mouse King version)
Inside the dining room, Fievel was standing near the window, looking out into the distance. While Papa was seated at the large table, beginning to clean his pipe, Fievel was waiting patiently for Cholena to arrive as he tried desperately to reason with his son. "Oh, Fievel, be reasonable," said Papa, feeling clearly amused while waving his pipe in the air. "Nice young ladies just don't - swim around rescuing people in the middle of the ocean and then - flutter off into oblivion, like some -" Fievel cut him off. "I'm telling you, Papa, she was REAL!" he said, "I am going to find that girl. And I am going to marry her. He put his left hand over his chin, gazing out the glass windows. Suddenly, laughter was heard from behind him. He turned his head to see the lover with his mother. "Come on, honey." said a voice, "Don't be shy." It was Mama. She stood by the door frame, guiding the lover into the dining room. Out of the shadows came Cholena. Cholena was now wearing a brown dress with medium, puffy, yellow sleeves (similar to Maid Marian's dress), a yellow headdress with a transparent turquoise veil, a white petticoat, light yellow bloomers that stop above her ankles, and turquoise ballet slippers. This was a new look for Cholena, and she showed that she was being treated well by the servants. Fievel's eyes widened as Papa walked up behind the prince. "Oh, Fievel, isn't she a vision?" asked Papa. The grin he had was never slipping off his face. Fievel's mouth hung open. But he closed his mouth and swallowed, feeling somewhat nervous. "You look - wonderful." Fievel stammered. Cholena, unable to say, "Thank you," replied with a gentle blush, she shrugged her shoulders, appreciating the nice comment, a smile on her face as her brown eyes looked up to him. Fievel blushed a light pink as Papa helped Fievel into his chair, quite enthusiastic, but not before giving the young princess a light nudge. Fievel pursed his lips, but grinned nonetheless. "Come come come, you must be famished. Let me help you my dear. There we go - ah - quite comfy?" He helped the princess into her seat. Fievel tucked the chair under the table as the girl sat down. "Uh, it's...it's not often that we have such a lovely dinner guest, eh, Fievel?" Cholena wasn't playing attention anymore. She was too intrigued by the glistening silver 'dinglehopper' resting on the table. With a wide smile, she picked up the shiny object, took off her headdress, and began brushing her hair with it. She looked up to face a confused Fievel and a horrified Papa. Cholena delicately placed the 'dinglehopper' back on the table, put her headdress back on her head, and looked down in embarrassment. She bit her lip and looked up as she saw Papa using a lighter to ignite the coppery thing that Cholena understood as a 'snarfblatt'. Papa kindly smiled at her, and handed her his pipe. "Uh, do you like it?" he asked, "It is a rather fine..." Papa stopped in mid-sentence when the female Native American mouse blew into the pipe as if it was a trumpet, sending a cloud of smoke spurting out the top and straight into his face. Fievel cracked up with laughter while Mama gave a small giggle. "Oh, my!" she exclaimed. Fievel cleared his throat, trying to regain composure. "Ahem. I'm sorry, Papa." Mama smiled, placing a hand on the Old English male mouse's shoulder. "Why, Fievel," she said. "That's the first time I've seen you smile in weeks." Cholena looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, very amusing," said Papa, as he used a handkerchief to wipe the last bit of smoke of his face and sniffed. "Mama, my dear, what's for dinner?" "Oooh, you're gonna love it!" Mama smiled. "Chef's been fixing his specialty, French-fried goat!" Philoctetes poked his head out from behind a sugar bowl and gasped upon seeing the chef of a French kitchen. He was an obese and burly mouse with light brown fur, sharp teeth and medium length buckteeth, a dark red nose, and dark brown hands and feet. He wears a blue tunic, a red cape held by gold buttons, a dark blue belt, a white chef's hat, and a matching apron. His name was the Mouse King, the French chef of the kitchen. The Mouse King rummaged through a cupboard. Singing in French to himself, he hummed to himself as he took a basket of trout and putting one on a counter. With his food ready, the mouse chef started singing. Mouse King: Les poissons Les poissons How I love '''les poissons' ''Love to chop And to serve little fish Grabbing the trout from the basket, Mouse King pulled out a cleaver and violently chopped off its head. This shocked Philoctetes horribly. Horrified that this was happening, Philoctetes hid his face. Mouse King: First I cut off their heads Then I pull out the bones Ah mais oui Ca c'est toujours delish Taking out another trout, the Mouse King took the cleaver and violently chopped off its head then proceeded to skin it and gut it while Philoctetes leaned against a wall and covered his mouth, feeling quite sick, feeling as if he may want to throw up. Mouse King: Les poissons Les poissons Hee hee hee Hah hah hah With the cleaver I hack them in two Taking out another trout, the Mouse King again chopped its head and then chopped the rest of the body into tiny pieces. Philoctetes tried getting away, but he found himself face to face with the trout's head. Mouse King: I pull out what's inside And I serve it with fries Cause I love little fishes Don't you? After cutting the trout's head off, the Mouse King pulled out the insides of the trout and cooked it on a frying pan before serving it on a plate. Spotting a large lettuce leaf, Philoctetes grabbed the leaf and used it to disguise himself as he slowly scuttled away from an unsuspecting chef, who is too absorbed into his little fish hacking mania but the Mouse King took a mallet and began smashing a tuna flat. Mouse King: Here's something for tempting the palate Prepared in the classic technique First you pound the fish flat with a mallet When the Mouse King pounded the tuna flat with the mallet, Philoctetes flew off the counter along with other stuff on it. He hid again under the lettuce before hearing more gross stuff from the Mouse King's preparations for the tuna. Mouse King: Then you slash through the skin Give the belly a slice Then you rub some salt in Cause that makes it taste nice When the Mouse King was describing those horrid moves, Philoctetes cringed even more. Just after the Mouse King put the salt on he rather was holding the fish body close to his cheek, Philoctetes's worst fear was confirmed when the cook reached out and grabbed the lettuce leaf, leaving him exposed. The Satyr kept perfectly still as the chef gasped, "Zut alors!" exclaimed the Mouse King, "I have missed one!" He picked up the 'dead' Satyr and continued singing, Mouse King: Sacre bleu What is this? How on earth could I miss Such a sweet little succulent goat? Quel dommage What a loss Here we go In the sauce Now some flour I think just a bloat The Mouse King tossed Philoctetes into a bowl of sauce and threw a spot of flour in his face, making him cough and sneeze before pulling him out and stuffing some breadcrumbs in his mouth. Mouse King: Now I stuff you with bread It don't hurt 'cause you're dead And you're certainly lucky you are Philoctetes spat out the breadcrumbs and wheezed loudly. The Mouse King didn't notice that the Satyr in his hand was still alive. Mouse King: Cause it's gonna be hot In my big silver pot Toodle loo Mon poisson Au revoir! The Mouse King threw Philoctetes across the room into a large pot of boiling water. Philoctetes held on to the inside of the pot before a bubble popped, burning him out of the pot and onto the counter with a loud thud. The Mouse King, hearing the 'thud', looked over to it being confused. He used a pitchfork-like utensil and stabs on either side of the bird, picking up Philoctetes and carefully inspected it. "What is this?" he asked. Philoctetes bit the Mouse King's beak, making him scream in pain as he held his beak. Philoctetes landed on the handle of a pan on the stove. The Mouse King reached for the Satyr, but instead put his hand on the fiery hot stove. The chef screamed and blew on his hand as the pan fell onto his foot. The Mouse King grabbed his foot and cried in pain, before sending Philoctetes an angry glare, grabbing a bunch of knives and hurling them at the Satyr. Philoctetes, who ducked each knife, dove under the counter, and while the chef was looking under the counter, Philoctetes pushed the bowl of sauce off the counter. The bowl shattered on his head. Going more insane, the Mouse King lifted his cleaver and brought it down. But all he managed to chop up was the counter. He saw Philoctetes running for his life. Philoctetes screamed as he tried getting out. The cleaver landed right in front of him, stopping him from running that way. He quickly made a mad dash underneath the Mouse King and hid underneath a cabinet of glasses and pottery. The Mouse King screamed, holding his mallet in his hand, Philoctetes hid as the psychotic chef jumped and crashed into the shelves. Back in the dining room, everyone heard loud crashes coming from the kitchen. Mama, who was pouring drinks for the prince, Papa, and their young guest, looked in the direction of the kitchen at the sound of a large crash. "I think I'd better go see what Drake is up to." she said. Once she had excused herself, she hurriedly made her way to the palace kitchen. Back in the kitchen, the insane chef, ripped clothes and all, was tearing apart the cabinet, mindlessly throwing things out of the way trying to find Philoctetes. "Come out, you little pipsqueak, AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!" he snarled. He continued to tear apart a cupboard. "Drake!" shouted Mama. He shot up, banging his head on the shelf, causing several new pots and pans to fall or break on the floor, at the sound of Mama's shrill voice. His coat and apron were torn and stained, his chef's hat was gone, and there was a hole in the elbow of his shirt. "What are you doing?" Mama demanded. The Mouse King stammered about what he was doing earlier. "Well - I - I was just - er, er, I'm sorry, madame." he finally said. Mama scowled at the mouse as he gave her an apologetic grin and pinched out a fire that had started on his furry cheek. Mama picked up the plates - which all had a metal dome over the top - off a nearby bench, and storming out the kitchen. Papa set his glass back on the table as the Mama placed their dinners in front of him, Cholena, and Fievel. "You know, Fievel," he said. "perhaps our young guest might enjoy seeing some of the sights of the kingdom. Something in the way of a tour?" Fievel simply sat there, staring at Cholena with a lovestruck expression on his face. Realizing that Papa had said something to them, they snapped out of their daze. Fievel let out a small chuckle and looked at Papa. "I'm sorry, Papa." he said, "What was that?" Papa leaned over to the male mouse and whispered, "You can't spend all your time moping about, you need to get out. Do something, have a life. Get your mind off-" As Papa complained, he opened his dish, and Phil was huddled inside. Cholena noticed Philoctetes and became worried. Philoctetes quietly shushed the worried girl, who opened her dish and urged for Philoctetes to quickly hide in hers. "Easy, Papa, easy." said Fievel, "It's not a bad idea. If she's interested." As the two chatted, Philoctetes quickly and quietly dashed across the table and hid in Cholena's dish. With Philoctetes safe, Cholena quickly turned to Fievel. "Well, what do you say?" asked Fievel. "Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow?" Cholena nodded, genuinely excited by the prospect and also internally relieved. "Wonderful!" beamed Papa. "Now let's eat, before this bird wanders off my plate." He looked down, only to be confused that Philoctetes had just run off his plate. Dinner got carried on into the evening long after the sun had set and afterwards, Cholena, Fievel, and Papa went their separate ways. Cholena was now dressed in her nightclothes as she watched Fievel play with Tiger from the balcony. Cholena was now wearing yellow nightshirt with long sleeves, brown patterns and a matching collar, and light yellow leggings. "Come here, boy!" Fievel laughed to Tiger, "Arrr!!!" He knelt on the ground and Tiger ran up to him and growled. Fievel playfully growled back at the dog as he pinned Fievel down. He looked up and smiled when they saw that the girl he'd found on the beach that day, watching. Fievel waved at Cholena, and she waved back, before slipping further back into her room. Fievel's eyes sparkled as his smile widened. He was actually really looking forward to taking her around his kingdom tomorrow, and could only hope he they felt the same way. Cholena smiled as she brushed her hair with her fork before putting her hair-bow back behind her ear. Philoctetes complained about his experience in the kitchen as he cleaned off the cooking spices. "This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life." he complained. Cholena patted Philoctetes on the head. "I hope you appreciate what I go through for you, young lady!" scolded the Satyr, as he waved his lettuce leaf at Cholena while she walked over to her bed. Cholena's bed was a large canopy bed with golden yellow mattresses & matching bedsheets & pillows, large yellow curtains (with golden draw-tassels) on all four sides (attached to the yellow canopy), yellow blankets, white linens, a warm, fuzzy, yellow blanket, & yellow mahogany bedposts (with a headboard of the same color & material). Anyway, Philoctetes told Cholena, "Now, we've got to make a plan to get that mouse to kiss you." She opened the curtains and bounced a little before settling back into the large pillow on the left side of the canopy bed and crawled under the covers. "Tomorrow, when he takes you for that ride, you gotta look your best." said Philoctetes. Cholena lay in her bed. It was very comfy and warm. It was a nice place for her to sleep for the night. "You're gonna bat your eyes - like this," Philoctetes went on, as he batted his eyes and puckered his lips. "You gotta pucker up your lips - like this." But by now, he realized that Cholena was already fast asleep. Philoctetes shook his head and smiled. "Hm." He blew out the candle on the bed side table. Before falling asleep himself, he said, "You are hopeless, child. You know that?" He yawned and closed his eyes as he covered himself up with Cholena's yellow blanket. "Completely hopeless." And with that, Cholena and Philoctetes fell asleep for the night. Category:Fan Fiction Category:The Little Mermaid Parodies Category:Songs